Halloween Short Story:
Tap. Tap. Tap. The sound came from inside the closet. Quietly, I crept toward the door, full of fear, i mange to inch closer towards the door, but go back a few inches. I couldn't find the courage to move forward, so i rushed back to my bed, pull the covers over my head and wait til whatever it was to go away. Hours passed and i was still hidden under my covers, until something sticky reached under my covers and touched my arm, and then i screamed so loud i probably woke up the neighbors right across the street! Then, it lift the covers up to revel my younger sister, i asked her why she was up this late at night, she replied, I couldn't resist the smell of your candy you had tucked away in your closet. So, when father went to bed, i waited about 20 minutes till you were asleep, then i quietly slipped into your closet to eat some candy! I almost wanted to hit her, but pulled her into a hug and slowly murmured into her ear, If you had asked, i would of shared my candy with you, but you almost gave me a heart attack, so i guess you'll have to wait until tomorrow morning for some. So now i know not to hide my stash of candy in the closet, but maybe somewhere else.
Your story was very funny and entertaining! I liked how you made the little sister seem like she was a monster. I can't think of anything you need to improve on!
ReplyDeleteYour story had kick and some fear. I liked how you explained the fear inside of you to open the door. Something you could improve on is capitalizing your i's
ReplyDeleteYour story had great details. I liked how you used a hyperbole when you said "I screamed so loud I probably woke up the neighbors right across the street!" Keep up the great work!
ReplyDeleteYour story was really funny and interesting.Great detailsand awesome job.
ReplyDelete