Halloween Night!!!
One Halloween night A group of kids went out trick or treating.The oldest one wanted to do something really stupid but nobody else had a better idea.He wanted all of them to go into the old abandoned mansion where a family of 8 died in.At first they were a little scared so he decided to make things a little interesting.They all huddled around and the oldest told them that who ever can stay in the house the longest would win everybody candy for the night.The group of boys all agreed and went into the house.Somebody had an idea to go explore this mansion so they know where they can go if anything happens.Then they all walked up the long twisted stairs they creeked as they took any sudden movement.One of the boys said I’m kinda scared already the rest of the boys agreed except for the oldest he just called them all babies.The youngest boy had to go pee so he ran off into the house looking for the bathroom.20 minutes later the group of boys heard a scream come from the downstairs,so they ran down there and couldn't find him.Until the oldest found a hidden door”it looks like a basement” said the middle child.Then they heard the scream again from the doorway and they walked down with all of there flash lights on to see if anything was down there.They then heard a whimper in the corner and a light flashed on it and there was the boy turned into the corner with blood coming out of his eyes.The flashlights went out and the door shut and locked then all of them scream and banged on the door until it stopped.The boys were never seen again after that Halloween night!!!
I like the part about the kid's eyes bleeding and all of them running away. It really seems like a Halloween story. What I think you could change is the spaces in the middle of the period and the next letter. It makes it look a little better.
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ReplyDeleteI agree with Remington on the subject that you should make sure there are spaces between a period and the first letter of the next sentence. Other than that and a few misspelled words, it was great.
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